change your brain

Brett2By the time we are 17 we have heard, you can’t, you shouldn’t and you’re wrong, around 75,000 times.

Ultimately our internal thoughts about ourselves are either limiting or empowering. They either help us, or they hinder us. Trap us or transform us. You get the picture. Our subconscious mind, which is about 96% of our mind, is where our behaviours and beliefs come from. We may not even be aware that we are being guided by a bunch of thoughts and beliefs about ourselves that are limiting us in our study, sport, relationships, finances, health and general well-being. We all have thoughts that limit us, therefore by creating awareness and change around these thoughts, we can strongly empower ourselves. I say thoughts because every belief you have, started with a thought.

Tony Robbins says, “All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs. The moment we begin to honestly question our beliefs and the experiences we assign to them, we no longer feel absolutely certain about them. This opens the door to replacing your old, disempowering beliefs with new beliefs that support you in the direction you want to go.”

Most of our limiting thoughts are formed before we are seven years of age, and then tweaked, developed and established by the time we are fourteen. As adults, the limiting thoughts we developed as children become the filter, and belief by which we see life, love, relationships, success, money, conflict, communication and happiness. Some of these beliefs are empowering and resourceful to us, but many become limiters that stop us from truly flourishing in life.

Here are some limiting thoughts I have encountered in young people I have coached and journeyed alongside, and some in myself: I am not good enough, I don’t deserve good things, it’s always my fault, I am stupid, I can’t do that, I won’t succeed, I am not smart enough, I never get chosen, I can’t do anything right, I am always wrong, I am too sensitive, I don’t belong anywhere, I will never make it, my feelings don’t matter, I can’t be loved, I am a bitch, I am the black sheep, I am too weak, I am too shy, I am not worth it, I am not creative enough … and so on and so on.

SHiFT the way you think and TRANSFORM your world.🙂

10 simple things #10

The art of successful goal setting is in the intentions: Intentions speak louder than goals.

Goals focus on a fixed result in the future, while intentions focus on the present reality and how you are choosing to “be” everyday. Intentions help direct us with more focus toward our desired way of being, not just our doing. 

Intention is how we commit to showing up. How we choose to be, regardless of external circumstances. It’s about how we want to “be” in life and relationships. Positive intentions are “I am” statements of intent, stated in the positive as if I already am. Then I set specific and practical goals to support my intentions. 

Examples: My relationship intentions: I am generous, present, kind and empowering. My attitude intentions: I am positive, grateful, content and confident. 

10 simple things #9

Discover the gift of solitude – I believe we are spiritual beings, and the often neglected part of our journey is our spirituality, and the gift of solitude. Learning to be content and at peace with your self is a key part of loving yourself freely and intently. This can include things like reflection, contemplative thinking, connecting with nature, silence, meditation or prayer. Get more connected to your spirit and soul. This is the place we can hear our heart, discern our fears and wrestle with our limiting beliefs. It’s where we can discover the strength of who we are and create positive change. Divert daily – withdraw weekly – abandon annually. “Solitude gives life, isolation steals it”.

10 simple things #8

Listen to your self-talk – Research tells us that we say a minimum of 3000 things to ourselves every day, and that 80% of these are negative. Becoming aware of your self-talk, listening to the themes and the consistent negatives, is a brilliant step forward. Once aware, we can then begin to change and reframe the things we say to ourselves which will create incredible change. A lot of our negative self-talk connects to our limiting internal beliefs. That’s an insight worth exploring.

10 simple things #7

7. Learn to love yourself – Self-love, self-belief and self-worth is very different to self-absorption. Our internal beliefs about who we are dictate much of our capacity to love ourselves in a healthy way. Limiting beliefs that have been set internally stop us from being truly free. These limiting beliefs are not truth, but they carry the same power over our lives as truth. Self-awareness around these beliefs is a great step towards greater freedom, and changing them is massive.

10 simple things #6

Live above the line – above the line thinking is where we take 100% responsibility for our choices and behaviour. We own it, deal with it and create the change we want to create. Below the line thinking is where we blame others, make excuses and live in denial. Above the line thinking impacts your behaviour, decisions, relationships and awareness in some incredibly positive ways.

10 simple things #5

Give it away – We are quite a self-absorbed society at times and shifting our focus onto others is another great step toward greater freedom. When you walk into a room ask yourself how can I add value to others here today, instead of what can I get from others here today. It’s a simple shift of focus. Sharon Pearson from the Coaching Institute says, “Help others discover and reach their dreams, and yours will take care of themselves”.

10 simple things #4

be_do_haveFocus on your BE – Our society generally has a HAVE-DO-BE focus. eg. When I HAVE more time, I will be able to DO more with my kids and then BE a better dad. Or when I HAVE more money, I will be able to DO more things for others and then BE a generous person. We need to shift this around and become BE-DO-HAVE people. Decide who you want to be, then take the action needed, which will give you the results you want to have.

By being the person you really want to be right now, whether you have everything in place to reach your goals, or not, you will bring about the life you want sooner than later.

10 simple things #3

Gratitude – I have spoken about the attitude of gratitude many times, and that’s because it is a powerful thing. It is the journey of becoming a grateful person, which is beyond just expressing gratitude. Write three new things you are grateful for every night and over time you change what your mind searches for from negative to positive.

10 simple things #2

Forgive – forgiveness is a gift to yourself. It doesn’t say what was said or done to you was right, but it frees you from being held back by someone else’s behaviour. Unforgiveness leads to bitterness which is poison to your soul. It contaminates your present and limits your future. Forgiveness, even of yourself, is a critical (and yes sometimes very difficult) step towards freedom.